Back when I first started writing for real (as opposed to writing to prove I couldn't) I kept it a closely guarded secret. I told no one, not even my husband, who knows everything about me if he chooses to listen to my free-flowing self-revelations. I think I wanted to conceal my activity so there would be no need for excuses when it came to a disappointing halt. I left myself an easy out--nobody would get hurt when I put down the smoking keyboard and chose to walk away, guilty of the demise of yet another floundering story-line.
But that didn't happen, obviously. Five books later, I'm still writing and now I'm willing to tell the world about it. Still, I've kept a tight rein on how I told the world. I chose to self-publish because I made the decision that my work would never be picked up by an agent and certainly not by a publisher. It's too long, not the most popular genre, my characters are not the typical brooding business tycoon and down-on-her-luck beauty queen, or alternatively the rocker bad boy and repressed geek girl. I chose instead to throw my babies to the wolves, in hopes of getting a little feel for what readers, should there be any, thought about my sweet little red-haired violinist and my practical,/mystical farm girl. Control over readers is not a thing anyone gets, but seeing instantly if and when a book sold, who posted a review, where I placed my random promotions, and when the pennies dropped into my bank account gave me a sense of having the upper hand.
|My safe little corner!|
It may be time to change the game plan. I admit I need help, support, and probably some form of intervention to break the routine that's fragmenting my focus between writing and selling. I would still want to be closely involved with the books, their content and promotion, and I would never relinquish the direct contact with readers, but I think I'm ready to share some of the decisions with someone who can take a more business-like (and less parental) approach. That said, I'm waiting for a sign, just as my favorite farm girl would advise, to point me to the next step. Keep your fingers crossed, will you, that I recognize it when it lands in front of me?